Who says you can't go home?

Disclaimer: This is a photo heavy post. Can you tell I'm homesick? Also all the pictures are mine. Don't take 'em.

The seasons are changing. I'm settling in to this new normal. And my heart is torn between two places. The place I spent 99% of my life and this new place where we grew our family. This new place is growing on me but there's nothing like home. In just over two months we are going back for a short 10 day visit. I'm afraid it will be too hard to leave.

When I think about New England I think about colors. I think of bright greens and sky blues and crimson, amber, chartreuse. No, really. Chartreuse.

I never really let the beauty and uniqueness of New England inspire me. That is, until I was on the verge of leaving it behind for a much more different landscape. Then I opened my eyes a little wider and fell in love with the things I didn’t expect. Sure, I love the beaches and the charming downtowns of certain North Shore towns.

I enjoy the twisty turny streets along old routes and revived roadways. I had lived 24 years in this place and it took me that long to stop focusing on what else was out there in the world, and focus on what was right in front of me. I could drive to the mountains anytime, to the ocean anytime, to the country anytime, to the city anytime. 

Friends, family all within reach. And a great city. One that I know better than any other city.

And the back roads that take you from town to town, piecing together a region, a community that is such a part of who I am. I can't get it out of my mind.

I'm comfortable here. But...

I long to be back there.

Happy Fall Y'all

I'm officially a fall person. I've always liked fall and I still believe it doesn't last long enough. Just when summer started to feel like it was dragging on forever, the humid air let up and BOOM it was fall. I didn't want to waste any time getting into the season, especially when things feel like they're going crazy fast all around you and stores are putting out Christmas decorations before October 1. What is wrong with these people? Can we please enjoy this pleasantly cool and colorful time of year before things turn bleak and cold?

I've done a lot of pumpkin carving in my day, but I've never attempted any other form of pumpkin decorating. Thanks to the Internet I'm fully aware of how crafty people are and I wanted to join the club. So I pulled out some old acrylic paints and brushes and set to work on my pumpkin.

I like a classic Jack-O-Lantern face on pumpkins, so that's what I went with. Plus I'm just not that clever or artistic enough to do much else. Some painters tape and an X-Acto knife was all I needed to get the features I wanted. Then I got to paintin'.

I thought about 1/4 way through the painting process that I could have used the tape to get better stripes, but then realized I didn't really care that much about making my painted pumpkin Pinterest worthy. It would be cool even with messy lines.

I also thought after pulling the tape off that I could retouch some of the spots where paint should be... and after 3-4 coats on each stripe I was officially painted out. So while I called this pumpkin good to go, I still needed to get my crafty fix. I found some leftover white streamer from Evan's birthday last December and made a mummy pumpkin.

Nan wanted in on the pumpkin decorating action so she spray painted one black and glued rhinestones and googly eyes all over it. I think it looks pretty cool.

And now the front of our house is nice and festive. You won't find an inflatable decoration on our lawn. If you ever do, feel free to stab it with a pair of scissors.

Excerpts from the year 2013

Okay, okay so I know 2013 is still underway, but I was reading some journal entries aloud to Sienna earlier while she dozed on my left arm and felt like sharing these small peaks into what what going on at the time. I read each entry as if I was telling a story, and I was. A story of how life has changed in such a short amount of time. A story of feelings and emotions that I never thought were possible. A story of how we came to this present moment.

Reading old journal entries is like looking through photographs. They offer a glimpse into life at that particular moment, sometimes with more clarity than any picture can.

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It’s the eve of 2013, and today has been a great day. Nan accompanied me to my 8am appointment at West Shore and I was allowing myself to remain calm and think positive.

Until Maureen had the ultrasound wand in hand and ultra-concentrated look on her face. I think I held my breath at that point.

“Baby with a heartbeat.”

And I exhaled. A very happy, contented sigh of relief. Nan’s eyes (and mine) welled up as Maureen turned the ultrasound screen towards my line of vision. The little kidney bean sized, pixelated blip on the screen that flashed ever so slightly, indicating an active heartbeat, both amused and comforted me. It was exactly what I needed. It was what we all needed.

Sharing the news of my pregnancy with mom, grandma, and the rest of our family and friends was such a nice experience. I thanked technology for the ability to Face Time with cousins and an aunt in uncle in both Maine and Massachusetts. And even the crazy world of Facebook for allowing us to share our positive news with even more people. The outpouring of support was tremendous.

Today I got that extra little reassurance that this is a blessing, and I’m exactly where I need to be. Evan is too. We all are.

Life is good. Life is great.

Happy New Year!

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I like to be woken up by the bright yellow light shining in through my window onto my face. And the birds chirping, letting me know there is indeed life happening outside of these four walls. 

I know that my days spent indoors are coming to an end. I also know that all of my brooding alone time is also nearing an end, to make way for more light to shine through. This little girl growing inside of me is that light. Right now I can only imagine the kind of happiness that she will bring into our lives come August. To experience it first hand is only months away. 

And I know that soon I will be sitting in the sun, swollen and sweating and much, much larger, and I’ll yearn for the cool, gray days of the past. I’ll probably mourn the times spent alone, coming and going as I please with no need to account for anyone else but myself. But then I’ll look at her face and know that the only time is now and the only truth is love. My new purpose is to live that truth every moment that I have.

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The sun is shining in through the windows and the birds are chirping wildly outside. The sounds of nature are so important, this she will know. But so are the sounds of people deep in conversation. We will have lots of conversations, I’m sure. Just wait until she discovers her voice… she may never stop using it. I hope she doesn’t.

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So here’s to you, Mr. Craig. You have made my life beautiful just by being in it, and you have already given me so much. I only hope that I can give you as much. Just know that no matter what happens today or tomorrow or a year from now, nothing will ever change the fact that I love you, plain and simple. 

Gettin' crafty: Decoupaged dresser for Miss Sienna

Motherhood has been a very interesting ride so far. It's by far the most exhausting and rewarding thing I have ever done, and probably ever will do. I have more unfinished projects than I care to count and less time to do them. But I did finally get on it yesterday!

The only other time in my life that I've been surrounded by so many tiny articles of clothing was when I had a playroom full of Barbie dolls and all her friends. Sienna's Nana and GiGi have done a wonderful job spoiling her with cute clothes that I can only hope will all be worn at least once. But this girl is almost 7 weeks old and growing like a weed and I'm already packing away newborn and some 0-3 month clothes!

Storage has been somewhat of a challenge in this house because the lower level where me, Evan and the baby are has no closet space. So I've been on the lookout for a dresser since before Sienna was born. For the first few weeks I was able to make due with just the single rack I hung on the wall and the space inside the changing table. I simply wasn't prepared for how quickly she would grow out of (and into) all the clothes she has been given, which needed to be pulled out of their respective boxes and bags, washed, and put away.

So last week I was taking a walk with Sienna and stumbled upon this guy:

There it was, exactly what I needed, just left on the curb a few blocks from our house. Naturally, I enlisted Evan's help to load it into the car and bring it home so I could fix 'er up. I have no shame, I've said it before. The next best thing to thrifting is turning a piece of garbage into a gem!

Initially I considered painting it a fun coral color, or perhaps I would stencil the drawers. I didn't want to spend too much time (or money) and I needed to get on this soon because I was officially out of space downstairs. Thanks to Pinterest I decided to decoupage the drawers instead.

So one fine Wednesday morning, Nan and I packed Sienna up and set out to find inspiration. A trip to Hobby Lobby for some drawer knobs, Mod Podge and sponge brushes and Target for some wrapping paper and I was ready to decoupage.

I didn't really plan this out beforehand, and I had never decoupaged before. Luckily the process was simple. I just lined up the paper with the area I wanted to cover, cut it out with an Xacto knife, and Mod Podged it. The knobs easily poked through the paper to be secured. This worked out well because I couldn't find any pulls that were the same size as the hardware that was already on the dresser, so the paper covers up the extra holes.

I quite like the end result. The only thing I would like to do is distress the edges a bit since there's already some chipped paint... you know, to make it look more deliberate. But I may leave it for now because I had to put Sienna's clothes away today when I managed to get three loads of laundry done while she slept. They say sleep when baby sleeps? HA! I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Overall cost of project:
Dresser: FREE
Knobs: $15 (6 x $2.50ea)
Wrapping paper: $1.50
Supplies (Mod Podge, sponge brushes, Xacto knife): $10
Total: $26.50

My Little Person

Today it hit me that I have this little human that I made. I mean, we made her but I cooked her for 9 months. And this little human is slowly and sometimes not so slowly changing right before our eyes into a person. A person who is becoming less and less like mom and dad and more and more like her. What a trip.

I look at a photo of her just a mere six weeks ago...

And I'm amazed at how much she has changed...

Not just physically. She's turning into a little person with happy, laughing eyes and a personality that is uniquely hers. We crack up when we notice certain traits or actions that resemble us, but are enjoying even more the things she does on her own. Sometimes I catch myself just looking at her in amazement that we created her, and now we get the privilege of getting to know her. Our Sienna.