Muscle memory happens when a movement is repeated over time,
creating a long-term memory for that task. Eventually, this movement can be
performed without conscious effort. Even if you’ve been away from this
particular movement or task for some time, picking it up again can end up
feeling like you just left off. The time that occurred—the hiatus, so to speak—is
irrelevant.
Relationships are like that. Familiar places are too. I don’t
just associate this muscle memory with exercise. Although I did have a great
moment yesterday about 30 minutes into a 90-minute hot yoga class where the
familiar environment and movements had me feeling more confident about what I
was doing there. I had been here before, I could do this. And I did.
Coming home has been another reminder that I’ve been here
before, I know it better. And I know myself better. I have all that I need in
order to make this life here a good one.
So I’m happy to say that while I was complaining about how
difficult it was to start my workout program just a couple weeks ago, I had no
idea that in a matter of days we would find ourselves in the place that we had
been working towards for many, many months.
Home. Nearly 700 miles Eastbound. We knew we would come back
here eventually, we even went so far as to set a time frame. But then life
happened and we decided the time is now.
I also believe we were lead back here to protect ourselves.
The strength of our bond and the family we created was being tested. To return
to our happiness sooner than later was of the utmost important because it
wasn’t good for anyone to put it off any longer. Delaying the inevitable was
just making things more difficult than they needed to be. So we ripped off the proverbial
Band-Aid.
I told a good friend that I felt like I could breathe again.
Like I had been holding my breath for the past 18 months and I could finally
let it all out. This burden that I didn’t even realize I was carrying for so
long was lifted. Of course, the burden was the one that I put on myself. I was
forcing myself to try to make a life in a place that I just couldn’t get
comfortable in for one reason or another. And I had tried. We all tried. I’m
still proud of how far we came in such a short amount of time.
I should add that making this move was not 100% me. It was
33%. I am one-third of a unit that sticks together and makes decisions together
to better our lives, and hopefully the lives of those around us. Upon our return,
we realized everything that had been there all along. We were exactly where we
belonged.
And I’m reminded, as always, that things happen for a
reason. Doors close and others open and it’s up to us to walk through them. And
when things seem chaotic and out of control, you can be sure that clarity will
come.
This is my clarity: I am home. I have a loving husband and a
healthy baby girl. I have an incredibly rewarding relationship with myself as
well as with my closest family and friends. I have a connection to this place.
I have opportunities all around me. Life is seriously good. I am grateful and
excited for every little thing.
