Muscle Memory

Muscle memory happens when a movement is repeated over time, creating a long-term memory for that task. Eventually, this movement can be performed without conscious effort. Even if you’ve been away from this particular movement or task for some time, picking it up again can end up feeling like you just left off. The time that occurred—the hiatus, so to speak—is irrelevant.

Relationships are like that. Familiar places are too. I don’t just associate this muscle memory with exercise. Although I did have a great moment yesterday about 30 minutes into a 90-minute hot yoga class where the familiar environment and movements had me feeling more confident about what I was doing there. I had been here before, I could do this. And I did.

Coming home has been another reminder that I’ve been here before, I know it better. And I know myself better. I have all that I need in order to make this life here a good one.

So I’m happy to say that while I was complaining about how difficult it was to start my workout program just a couple weeks ago, I had no idea that in a matter of days we would find ourselves in the place that we had been working towards for many, many months.

Home. Nearly 700 miles Eastbound. We knew we would come back here eventually, we even went so far as to set a time frame. But then life happened and we decided the time is now.

I also believe we were lead back here to protect ourselves. The strength of our bond and the family we created was being tested. To return to our happiness sooner than later was of the utmost important because it wasn’t good for anyone to put it off any longer. Delaying the inevitable was just making things more difficult than they needed to be. So we ripped off the proverbial Band-Aid.

I told a good friend that I felt like I could breathe again. Like I had been holding my breath for the past 18 months and I could finally let it all out. This burden that I didn’t even realize I was carrying for so long was lifted. Of course, the burden was the one that I put on myself. I was forcing myself to try to make a life in a place that I just couldn’t get comfortable in for one reason or another. And I had tried. We all tried. I’m still proud of how far we came in such a short amount of time.

I should add that making this move was not 100% me. It was 33%. I am one-third of a unit that sticks together and makes decisions together to better our lives, and hopefully the lives of those around us. Upon our return, we realized everything that had been there all along. We were exactly where we belonged.

And I’m reminded, as always, that things happen for a reason. Doors close and others open and it’s up to us to walk through them. And when things seem chaotic and out of control, you can be sure that clarity will come.

This is my clarity: I am home. I have a loving husband and a healthy baby girl. I have an incredibly rewarding relationship with myself as well as with my closest family and friends. I have a connection to this place. I have opportunities all around me. Life is seriously good. I am grateful and excited for every little thing.