Excerpts from the year 2013

Okay, okay so I know 2013 is still underway, but I was reading some journal entries aloud to Sienna earlier while she dozed on my left arm and felt like sharing these small peaks into what what going on at the time. I read each entry as if I was telling a story, and I was. A story of how life has changed in such a short amount of time. A story of feelings and emotions that I never thought were possible. A story of how we came to this present moment.

Reading old journal entries is like looking through photographs. They offer a glimpse into life at that particular moment, sometimes with more clarity than any picture can.

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It’s the eve of 2013, and today has been a great day. Nan accompanied me to my 8am appointment at West Shore and I was allowing myself to remain calm and think positive.

Until Maureen had the ultrasound wand in hand and ultra-concentrated look on her face. I think I held my breath at that point.

“Baby with a heartbeat.”

And I exhaled. A very happy, contented sigh of relief. Nan’s eyes (and mine) welled up as Maureen turned the ultrasound screen towards my line of vision. The little kidney bean sized, pixelated blip on the screen that flashed ever so slightly, indicating an active heartbeat, both amused and comforted me. It was exactly what I needed. It was what we all needed.

Sharing the news of my pregnancy with mom, grandma, and the rest of our family and friends was such a nice experience. I thanked technology for the ability to Face Time with cousins and an aunt in uncle in both Maine and Massachusetts. And even the crazy world of Facebook for allowing us to share our positive news with even more people. The outpouring of support was tremendous.

Today I got that extra little reassurance that this is a blessing, and I’m exactly where I need to be. Evan is too. We all are.

Life is good. Life is great.

Happy New Year!

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I like to be woken up by the bright yellow light shining in through my window onto my face. And the birds chirping, letting me know there is indeed life happening outside of these four walls. 

I know that my days spent indoors are coming to an end. I also know that all of my brooding alone time is also nearing an end, to make way for more light to shine through. This little girl growing inside of me is that light. Right now I can only imagine the kind of happiness that she will bring into our lives come August. To experience it first hand is only months away. 

And I know that soon I will be sitting in the sun, swollen and sweating and much, much larger, and I’ll yearn for the cool, gray days of the past. I’ll probably mourn the times spent alone, coming and going as I please with no need to account for anyone else but myself. But then I’ll look at her face and know that the only time is now and the only truth is love. My new purpose is to live that truth every moment that I have.

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The sun is shining in through the windows and the birds are chirping wildly outside. The sounds of nature are so important, this she will know. But so are the sounds of people deep in conversation. We will have lots of conversations, I’m sure. Just wait until she discovers her voice… she may never stop using it. I hope she doesn’t.

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So here’s to you, Mr. Craig. You have made my life beautiful just by being in it, and you have already given me so much. I only hope that I can give you as much. Just know that no matter what happens today or tomorrow or a year from now, nothing will ever change the fact that I love you, plain and simple. 

Gettin' crafty: Decoupaged dresser for Miss Sienna

Motherhood has been a very interesting ride so far. It's by far the most exhausting and rewarding thing I have ever done, and probably ever will do. I have more unfinished projects than I care to count and less time to do them. But I did finally get on it yesterday!

The only other time in my life that I've been surrounded by so many tiny articles of clothing was when I had a playroom full of Barbie dolls and all her friends. Sienna's Nana and GiGi have done a wonderful job spoiling her with cute clothes that I can only hope will all be worn at least once. But this girl is almost 7 weeks old and growing like a weed and I'm already packing away newborn and some 0-3 month clothes!

Storage has been somewhat of a challenge in this house because the lower level where me, Evan and the baby are has no closet space. So I've been on the lookout for a dresser since before Sienna was born. For the first few weeks I was able to make due with just the single rack I hung on the wall and the space inside the changing table. I simply wasn't prepared for how quickly she would grow out of (and into) all the clothes she has been given, which needed to be pulled out of their respective boxes and bags, washed, and put away.

So last week I was taking a walk with Sienna and stumbled upon this guy:

There it was, exactly what I needed, just left on the curb a few blocks from our house. Naturally, I enlisted Evan's help to load it into the car and bring it home so I could fix 'er up. I have no shame, I've said it before. The next best thing to thrifting is turning a piece of garbage into a gem!

Initially I considered painting it a fun coral color, or perhaps I would stencil the drawers. I didn't want to spend too much time (or money) and I needed to get on this soon because I was officially out of space downstairs. Thanks to Pinterest I decided to decoupage the drawers instead.

So one fine Wednesday morning, Nan and I packed Sienna up and set out to find inspiration. A trip to Hobby Lobby for some drawer knobs, Mod Podge and sponge brushes and Target for some wrapping paper and I was ready to decoupage.

I didn't really plan this out beforehand, and I had never decoupaged before. Luckily the process was simple. I just lined up the paper with the area I wanted to cover, cut it out with an Xacto knife, and Mod Podged it. The knobs easily poked through the paper to be secured. This worked out well because I couldn't find any pulls that were the same size as the hardware that was already on the dresser, so the paper covers up the extra holes.

I quite like the end result. The only thing I would like to do is distress the edges a bit since there's already some chipped paint... you know, to make it look more deliberate. But I may leave it for now because I had to put Sienna's clothes away today when I managed to get three loads of laundry done while she slept. They say sleep when baby sleeps? HA! I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Overall cost of project:
Dresser: FREE
Knobs: $15 (6 x $2.50ea)
Wrapping paper: $1.50
Supplies (Mod Podge, sponge brushes, Xacto knife): $10
Total: $26.50

My Little Person

Today it hit me that I have this little human that I made. I mean, we made her but I cooked her for 9 months. And this little human is slowly and sometimes not so slowly changing right before our eyes into a person. A person who is becoming less and less like mom and dad and more and more like her. What a trip.

I look at a photo of her just a mere six weeks ago...

And I'm amazed at how much she has changed...

Not just physically. She's turning into a little person with happy, laughing eyes and a personality that is uniquely hers. We crack up when we notice certain traits or actions that resemble us, but are enjoying even more the things she does on her own. Sometimes I catch myself just looking at her in amazement that we created her, and now we get the privilege of getting to know her. Our Sienna.